If you guys don’t know, I am on a no make up no weave journey. It’s really just make-up but I decided to wear my natural hair out as well. I began wearing makeup when I first got to college. I was about 18 at the time. It started off with me wearing lipstick. I liked the compliments I got so I began wearing it every day. It slowly began to become addictive, because I couldn’t leave the house without it. Then all of a sudden I began wearing eye liner. I felt really pretty with it on and people really seemed to love my face when I wore it. So y’all already know I do not know moderation, so just like the lipstick, the eye liner became addictive. So instead of me realizing the problem, I added to it. I started drawing my eye brows on. I realized my eye brows were thick so I tried to trim them but instead I BUTCHERED them. At this point I had no eye brows so I was forced to draw them on. If I spent the night at my friends house, I would wash everything off but the eye brows lol.
So long story short, it had been almost two years that anyone had seen my face completely bare. At this point was self esteem was shot. If I wasn’t wearing makeup I didn’t even want to speak see anyone.
So lately the Holy Spirit had been telling me to stop wearing makeup. I ignored it and for a couple of weeks and I still wore it. But I realized that my low self esteem began consuming me. I would take the makeup off and feel so unattractive. I realized that the makeup became something that I made an idol and completely depended on. The deeper issue was why. I can’t speak for everyone my size, but as for me, I wore the makeup because for once I felt as if I had a chance that I’ve never had before.
I’ve been pretty over weight for majority of my life. The make up gave me attention that I had never received before. I felt that without it, I wouldn’t stand a chance next to someone smaller than me.
It began being on my mind all the time. It also made it hard to date someone because I couldn’t seem to trust him. It has nothing to do with the guy, he’s awesome, it is because I had no sense of security in myself.
I got tired of feeling like that so I submitted to what God had wanted me to do. So last week Sunday I went to church and it was the first time I had went out in public with no weave or makeup on. It was sad chile. I was so nervous like I was going to preach or something. Someone called me pretty and I was shocked that they even found me pretty without my makeup on.
I realized the mental prison that the makeup had put me in. I also realized that I wore the makeup to pick up the lack in security I had from being the size that I am. So I decided to get the root. So I began praying for deliverance from the tainted mindset I was in, and I am going to lose the weight and the makeup.
It is a process, but I am beginning to like my face without makeup. And I realize I don’t need makeup to get a man or compliments. Any man that God has ordained for me will find me beautiful in whatever state I am in and without any conditions. As far as me losing the weight, that is because in all honesty obesity is not of God. Gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins and he is healing me in that aspect.
So I was a little confused to why God had wanted me to stop wearing the makeup. I prayed and I asked him if it was a sin. I didn’t know whether it was a sin or whether it was something I had to let go because it became a god to me. I haven’t read the whole bible so I don’t know if there are more verses and stories about women in the bible who wore make up, but I found some. For example, one day I was reading about a woman named Jezebel in the bible. She was wicked and did evil things and a man by the name of Jehu came to kill her. So when she found out, she “painted her face”. I found it interesting that they would note that. It’s in 2 Kings 9:30
“30 And when Jehu was come to Jezreel, Jezebel heard of it; and she painted her face, and tired her head, and looked out at a window ”
Now using my discernment I honestly don’t think it is wise to follow the ways of someone evil in the bible. The book of revelations talks about the jezebel spirit. So based off common sense it is just not wise to do something that someone wicked in the bible has done.
Make-up isn’t natural. If it was, then we wouldn’t need it. Now when I look at old pictures with all that makeup caked on I noticed that I resembled a baby doll instead of looking human. I see a rise of everyone wearing makeup and I also see a decline of women who have self value and realization of their worth. It is taking a lot of me to adjust to letting make-up go but God’s grace is sufficient.
If anyone needs prayer or advice you can email me at DeshawnBrown93@gmail.com