Ever felt unappreciated? Like you’d lay your life on the line for people whose mind you barely cross? I wish I could tell you that it is all in your head, but I can’t. The reality is, that just may be the case.
All human beings are different. Which means our emotions, priorities, needs and wants are not the same. I had to learn this for myself. I am in a transition phase in my life. I am seeking God’s purpose for my life and it has left me at a stand still with a lot of things from my old life. I realized that when my priorities changed, others priorities stayed the same. I also realized that some of the things or people I prioritize do not prioritize me. It is something that saddens me from time to time, but as each day goes by I remind myself I cannot be distracted
Between trying to find my calling, work on my health, maintain friendships, decipher who to let go, love myself, love someone else and discipleship, it has gotten to be almost overbearing. Many who read this wont even know what I am talking about, but someone will. When you are in a true transition from an old life to your called life you are literally ripping yourself away from what you knew during your entire existence.
When you are going in the direction that God wants you to go, the devil will do anything to distract you. If he sees that he cannot hurt you through monetary or material possessions, then he will move to your weakness.
My weakness is love. It is so ironic that my weakness is also my strength. When I love something or someone, they have the ability to encourage me to move mountains but they also have the power to discourage me to feel helpless. Yesterday I found myself crying on the floor at a breaking point. It wasn’t because of the lack of money or education, not even the status of my employment. I found myself at a rock bottom because I felt so unloved and unappreciated. In all honesty I felt as if there was no one on this Earth that ever made me an important factor in their lives and to everyone, I was just an option. If you are reading this and you have ever felt like this, I am going to keep it real with you.
If you feel like that, then that is probably the reality. Does that mean you are a bad person? No. Does that mean that you are unworthy? No. Does that mean you won’t ever be a priority? No.
What we must understand is that God has to be our priority. We have been God’s priority since the beginning of time. He sent his begotten son to die on the cross for you and I to be rachet and reckless and have the ability to repent for it. It sounds so cliche but if you can just let go of those people that don’t give you that attention you long for and give it to God, you will be so happy you did.
I mean really, I am learning to let go of people. Does that mean I hate them? No. Do I love them any less? No. But I had revelation and I realized my faults. Rather than waiting for mama, cousin, boo thang or my friends to comfort me I could be finding my comfort in God.
Keep in mind I said learning, because this is something I struggle with, and this is a lesson that I learned not even 24 hours ago. I told myself that from now on I am putting God as my priority. I cannot rely on man because it leaves me disappointed everytime. It saddens me but it doesn’t defeat me. I hope that you are not only encouraged by reading this but reminded. Reminded that you cannot be distracted by spiritual attacks and that you have purpose and prosperity waiting for you at the other side of this small test. Be encouraged.
life is hard, if you would like me to pray for you or if you need someone to talk to feel free to contact me via email at deshawnbrown93@gmail.com
TheNaturalLadyInSilk 